Exploration of Self
Discovery of Me
I have spent much of the year on a ‘curiosity-driven,’ self-exploration journey. I suppose that is to say, I have been trying to understand how I view the world and my small role in it.
Honestly, 2020 turned into the year for many of us to explore ourselves — COVID-19 saw to that.
I ended up with more time at home in the last six months than in the previous two years combined. Much of this time, I filled by ‘discovering’ just how frustratingly unimpressed I have been with my ability to push my intellectual limits, though I know I am trying.
The Macro
I leaned into adventures that before this year, I am not sure I would have ever chosen to pursue/reignite. Along with joining some fantastic groups of people in exploring just how many problems we could try and solve virtually, I started playing disc golf again. While reading Homer’s Odyssey, I also delved back into the fantasy world of The Land: Alliances series by Aeleron Kong. I began having raw discussions with family and friends to uncover and understand blind spots I have to empathize with others’ experience as best I can, all while learning how to be the best father I can be to my first/newborn child.
In essence, 2020 has been random and completely unexpected. For many, it has been filled with pain and emotion deeper and darker than most would wish upon their worst enemy. For others, it has been ripe with opportunity as things move to the digital forefront. For some, it has been business as usual, with the addition of some extraordinary implications.
Knowing Me
Who am I, and what do I value? That may sound somewhat cliche’, but it helped me get beyond the superficial understanding of myself.
I started to realize that I am drawn to exploring real problems for people. Not problems for solutions’ sake, but problems for a real human. So, I took this to mean I value making people’s lives better (or at least trying). I am passionate about cutting through the noise and building a better environment for others.
I also came to find that understanding my emotions, controlling and channeling my frustrations to calm and reasoned thought, could make me a much more authentic person. It also seems to have enabled me to empathize more with another human.
Which again, goes back to something I value.
Finding that Passion
My passion motivates me to get out of bed in the morning. Understanding it, though, took time and self-reflection.
Truthfully, I am motivated by those around me. I guess you could say I am a ‘people’ person. The interactions and discussions, that sense of community, it motivates me daily. I was a bit worried about trying this whole remote thing — I feared I might lose a lot of that connection to others. I was wrong.
I came to realize that conversations were waiting to be had. The entire world was sitting there just like me looking for an excuse to interact, share stories, and chat. I have the occasional virtual ‘coffee chat’ with a good friend of mine or join a virtual ‘happy hour’ with another that almost always gets off track from the original topic in beautifully relevant ways. Realizing that I wasn’t alone in my desire not to be bound to the four walls of my home/office and that others were looking for that same excuse to have that human factor injected into their day made reaching out that much easier.
The entire world was sitting there just like me looking for an excuse to interact, share stories, and chat.
So, my passion is human interaction. I value that.
Enough about ME
I have used ‘I’ and ‘Me’ about 1400 times in this little scribble.
The best discovery of this absurd year, the community. The interactions with so many who have made this whole COVID thing a bit more bearable. Many of these experiences share the same sense of uncertainty, void of much guidance from any government entity, as one may typically lean on during a trying time. So, we find ourselves in the virtual space together, sharing our journey through today’s new normal.
Normal, that word strikes a bit harder in 2020 than it did a year ago — Mainly because most of our sense of ‘normal’ has been all but obliterated. Normal last year certainly wasn’t pressing the keys down in a particular order to get thoughts down on Medium. It wasn’t utilizing Slack, Zoom, or any number of technology-driven venues to have discussions and get work done.
No, normal last year was a bit stuffy in hindsight. The concept of 9–5 has been abolished by the realization of many corporations and organizations now saying, ‘Wow, work can be done from anywhere, at any time, and without hour-long meetings.’ Who knew? Bonus points, our employees are happier and more productive — win!
Community
You could ask a dozen people what this word means and probably get the same number of varied responses. The community referenced here is one that is virtual yet tangible and shares the goal of making the world around them better. Finding oneself in this community by accident has been a complete and total reward.
Though there is a sense the intellectual limits do not seem to be getting pushed as far as one might like, it is worth giving credence to the fact that part of this intellectual journey can include reflecting on oneself and society. So maybe there is more of that ongoing than first acknowledged.
Maybe part of the intellectual journey begins here and the best is yet to come.
All for Now
Thanks for reading some random thoughts from my world. As I become more comfortable I may write more on other topics that interest me in the day-to-day journey. I find writing to be a great release but rarely try and throw words on a canvas and then put them in front of people. I guess the ‘New Year’ really has made a ‘New Me.’
Future Topics — Maybe
- Intercommunicating in the 21st Century
- Data Science & the Intelligence Analyst
- The Generalist in a World of Specialization
- A short snippet of a very rough attempt at Dystopian writing
Bye :)
Chris
